i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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