She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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