1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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