thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
