I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
