...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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