I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
