Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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