sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
