the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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