Kiss
Puke
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
