The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
