I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
