God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
