She said her name was "party"
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
