We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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