its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
