playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize