Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Randomize
