Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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