I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
