...so i touched it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
