Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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