My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
