I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
