Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize