hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
