what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize