Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
