I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
