girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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