No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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