sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
