And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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