i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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