i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize