The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
one two three fourrrrnication!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
