Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I see more hoeing in ur future
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize