there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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