ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize