i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
