Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
