i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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