so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
