It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
