we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
