508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
