you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
