It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
