she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
