dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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