u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
