Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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