Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish you could order shots online.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my nose is crying tears of wow.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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