Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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