Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
