Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I need moral support for this bender
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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