these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
