fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
